“There was still so much that they have not seen about me, so many secrets I could not tell and that I was actually expecting them to notice in time, so many specific details, yet they did not care. There was so much unknown in me. They could not certainly say they knew me; they could not certainly say they ever really knew me. Yet, it seem as if everything that made me whole, every little part of me, every little event in the history of me was truly useless.
” Men do not want to get to know you, they want to make you play a part they have already written for you as soon as they met you. ‘I want this woman to be the crazy ex-girlfriend who will eventually make the next girl I date feel sorry for me, for dating such a lunatic. And I will truly commit to make it happen. I will truly invest myself in driving her crazy. I will fool around everyday, but I will do it so subtly, she will think that it is all in her head. I will make her doubt of her own reason, she is even going to think I am nice for dealing with someone so insecure and unstable.’
” ‘Oh, green eyes. Good, I like that. We are going to date for a while, but one day, out of the blue, I will call her from the airport to tell her my plans on becoming a digital nomad in order to find myself. And bang more girls — girls who say they love nature but are just pity colonizers, really. Hopefully, they would let me do ir without a condom because… nature, of course. Might still text her in five years if I see some pictures on her Instagram with some other dude.’
” And we are all fucked by this. Stop acting like you have it better just because you came after. See, even if you really have the ultimate character, that one lady role our mothers and grandmothers, and grand grandmothers have wanted to get for centuries, that role that every woman in our families is educated to finally play… Even if you end up walking down the aisle wearing a white dress in front of all your friends and family, just know you are playing a character, too. You are The One — you are that one woman who, for some apparently divine reason, deserves to be treated better than he treated the previous Ones.
” But, see, this is the tricky part. He treated The Other Ones like trash and to be treated better than trash is still not being treated appropiately, to be treated better than trash is yet very far away from decent.”
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